War Read online

  No.

  This was something I had to do. Ollie was a huge part of my life and I refused to turn my back on him and the memories I loved. I just had to make that first step. It was always the first step that was the toughest. The muscles in my legs seemed to forget how to function, or maybe it was my brain sending them a distress signal that their movement would cause utter pain. A pain that I had had enough of in the past several months.

  Shayla and Savannah had offered to come with me, but it didn’t feel right. This was something between me and him. Only me and Ollie. I knew they were worried about me. Since my return, I had become a staged puppet, meaning I could fake a performance. Forcing a laugh when needed, feigning a smile when I was hurting, and holding everything in for the sake of others was something I needed to do. I had to be strong for them now more than ever. I was their leader, and soon we would be in a fight worth dying for. But I needed today.

  Today was for me to be weak, and I didn’t want them to see that. Sure, they would understand anything I did, but I didn’t want to put them through that. There was no telling how long this ugly cry session would last. I needed to mourn in order to move on, and it was time for that. She had robbed me of that. Bitch. The Darkness. I cast a sideways glance at my arm to make sure her familiar black trails of vile indecency were still vacant from my tanned skin. I had won. Of course, I knew it she wasn’t gone. The Darkness never left. However, it was locked away, sealed tight, and there was no way in hell I was ever opening the door.

  I reached for the handle after finally switching the ignition off. This was it. Now or never. Of all the things I had been through — fighting monsters, being locked in my own personal mind fuck, and battling a sadistic evil that nearly broke me — this was the worst. This was my home. There was no way I could keep running from it. I had been back in Jackson for several days now, and I avoided this place at every cost, taking different routes so I wouldn’t even have to pass it.

  The air outside the Jeep suddenly felt thinner, making me feel lightheaded. I leaned back against it, closing my eyes.

  Just breathe.

  Counting to five slowly while taking a deep drag through my nose and exhaling through my mouth helped. I opened my eyes, focusing on the vacant parking lot. The only other vehicle was an old red Chevy with a doughnut on the back right side, and a bumper sticker that read I like boobs.

  I forced my feet to walk, though they felt full of lead. The closer I got, the tighter my chest pulled with anxiety. The red front door brought me to my abrupt halt. They had painted it. I could still smell fumes from the fresh coat. I touched it, my palm trembling against the cool surface.

  I finally get to see the inside.

  His voice was so close to my ear and predominant, I whipped around expecting to see him. I was alone. It was only a memory. Those were the words he said to me the first night he stayed here. Absently, I ran a hand through my hair, securing it behind my ear. I looked down into the bag draped across my chest, fumbling around the few items in search of the little key ring Shayla had given me with the keys on it. Truthfully, my fingertips had already brushed past the metal several times. I just hadn’t pulled them out. I was stalling.

  I finally hooked my finger around the loop, bringing out her PIMP key chain along with two keys. I chose one and it slid into the lock easily, releasing it with a pop. I stood with my hand on the doorknob for several minutes. One step. All I needed to do was turn the knob and take one step and I would be home. I closed my eyes, turned the knob, and barreled in through the door.

  The coolness of the room nipped my skin, causing tiny goose bumps to spread over my arms like a wildfire. It smelled of all the things I remembered. Apples, freshly washed clothes, and something else I couldn’t quite put my finger on. What was that? I took a deep breath and dropped to my knees. His cologne. There was no mistaking the faint smell of Invictus. I peeled my eyes open.

  The furniture still sat where I had positioned it. A blanket lay balled up on the corner of the couch from the last time Shayla and Jace stayed over. The remotes were beside the chair where Ollie had left them, like they were waiting on him to come resume his show. I glanced up at the coat rack near the door. His shirt was neatly hung there. A white button-down, missing a few buttons. The one I had ripped off him the night we got back together. He had placed it there to get the buttons sewn back on.

  I buried my face in my hands, letting a long wail escape my throat, interrupting the silence. I rocked back on my heels, screaming. This wasn’t the first time this apartment had seen me this way. Once before, over him. But that time was my stupidity. Why would I have ever thought he would turn his back on me? All that lost time that I could have spent with him was something I could never get back. I would give anything to have one hour, hell even one minute to hold him again. My skin chilled at the lack of human contact. His memory was all I had now, and even though I adored each one, they weren’t enough. It hurt to think about anything we shared together. Selfishly, I wanted more.

  Something crashed in the back room. Muffled voices conversed. I quickly swiped the tears from my face and lifted my body. Prowling closer to the wall, I peered around the corner. Shadows danced along the wall of my old bedroom. A figure emerged. I unsheathed a weapon strapped to my thigh.

  My arm stiffened as I adjusted the blade’s hilt within my fingers. It ached to be put to use. This was a sacred place. How dare anyone or anything come here? My body molded against the sheetrock, pressing tightly at the corner to remain out of sight. The wooden planks creaked as weight shifted over them, drawing nearer to my position. A shadow pooled across the floor. My breath seized within my chest, ramping up the adrenaline that sent electric sparks throughout my nerves.

  A second later, a tall figure came into view. My arm snapped outward with a savage lunge, catching the midsection of the intruder.

  12

  Reese

  “Jace!”

  I hardly recognized the man in front of me. He wasn’t the same as I remembered. His face was worn as if he had seen too much that couldn’t be taken away. I knew the feeling well. At some point along the way of when this all started, the fun had stopped. Before we were young, naïve to what was happening around us. I don’t think it really sunk in until Liam died.

  He looked down at the cut at his side. Blond hair hung down to the tip of his nose as it cascaded over his forehead. The fabric flopped over, exposing a small wound lined in bright red. “Shit. You realized you could’ve killed me, right?” His blue eyes snapped back up to mine after assessing the damage I had inflicted. His jaw locked with an obvious charade of anger.

  I pointed at the meager scratch he was making such a fuss over. “If I wanted to kill you, you’d be dead,” I answered honestly. I tried to remain stone-faced, but I couldn’t keep the smile from devouring my face. I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him close. “You don’t know how happy I am to see your face, you crazy asshole.” A new set of tears streamed down my cheeks and dampened his shirt.

  “Sure have a hell of way to show it.”

  “If he gets that response, can’t wait to see what mine will be like,” another voice said from down the hallway.

  I pushed away from Jace, and swiped my eyes, trying to clear my blurry vision. A tall figure emerged from the shadows.

  “Tucker Payne, holy shit!” I ran and jumped onto him. He caught me midair, wrapping his arms around my waist and holding me close to his body. “I thought you guys were in Africa or something,” I mumbled into his shoulder.

  “Not anymore. So glad to be home, I can tell you that,” Payne said.

  I dropped down, unlatching myself from his lean form once I was sure they weren’t going anywhere. “How is it that I’m the first person to see y’all?” I turned to look at Jace. “Aren’t there other people you’d rather see first?”

  His head lowered as he rubbed the back of his neck. “The thing is, last time we talked it wasn’t pretty.”

  I shook my head
, having no idea what he was referring to. Clearly, it was something that happened in my absence. I glanced in Payne’s direction for answers. He held up his hands and remained silent. My attention shifted back to Jace and I waited, but he didn’t say another word. I wet my lips, preparing to assault him with an onslaught of questions until he elaborated.

  Jace eyed me for a second. His features were like an open book. Pain. I knew the look too well. I saw it every time I looked in a mirror. “She wanted me to come home. Told me how much she missed and loved me. I just — I couldn’t say it back.” One dark brow arched. “You should’ve seen her expression. It crushed her. So, yeah, I’m not sure if she’ll ever want to see my face again.” He covered his face with two shaky hands.

  All at once, the room was still. I knew better than anyone how vindictive Shayla could be when she had a grudge. But I also knew how she felt about Jace. My being in that coma-like state in the hospital gave her plenty of time to confide in me. She was so hurt he had left her. Hell, I would have been the same way. If the situation was different, and I had lost one of my best friends the way he did, I wasn’t sure I could stay either. Both sides made sense. Maybe he needed time to heal over such a great loss.

  Closing the gap between the two of us, I pulled his hands away from his face. “I’m sure she’d love to see you. I know she’s missed you.”

  A small smile pulled at his lips. “You think?”

  “Sure.” I looked between both guys, suddenly becoming aware that there were only two of them. I knew it was silly, but part of me expected to see the third member appear. I glanced to the back of the house, but there was only a bare hallway. My legs became liquid, and I dropped to the ground in an emotional puddle once again.

  They stooped near me and put their hands on my back as I sobbed. I hated that I was showing weakness in front of them. Jace left the country to get over Steele’s death. Obviously, it was better for him now or he wouldn’t be back. Here I was probably dredging up unwanted emotions in him. I looked up. Through my blurred vision, I could see the hurt across his face.

  “It’ll be okay, Reese. I know it’s hard to see us without him since we were always together,” Payne said. That made me cry even harder. “Do you want us to leave?”

  I clenched my stomach as an unwanted ache flared up. “No — no,” I managed to get out. “I just need a few minutes, that’s all.” With a flitting hand, I motioned around us. “It’s just this is the first time I’ve been back in this place and now seeing the two of you… That’s emotional overload.”

  “We’ll wait in the living room. Take all the time you need,” Payne said.

  I didn’t see or hear them leave. I was lost in my own turmoil. What should have been a happy moment wasn’t. That was my fault. My palms touched the cool surface of the wood floor. I inhaled deeply and pushed up. I blinked, clearing my vision before staggering toward a door that stood ajar at the end of the hallway. This would be the hardest to see. The memories there were precious.

  We were kids. Kids fighting something that was more dangerous than we thought. The concept of death was there, but really I never thought it would happen. But it had. He was taken from me. I was alone. My future was in his eyes. Gray eyes that I watched fade before me as he drifted into a place I couldn’t follow. It wasn’t fair. He was the love of my life. I should’ve been able to follow him anywhere.

  Now all the future held for me was war. I didn’t care what happened during it… or after. Only Dermetheus, limp and lifeless before me. After that I could die. I didn’t care. That was the only reason I was still hanging on at this point. I had to make sure I completed my mission and Steele didn’t die for nothing. His death might be the last thing I do on this earth.

  I practically had to force Jace through the door of the new training facility. He, like I, was devastated over losing the previous one. It was the first place they had went upon arriving back in Jackson. Not knowing where else to go, they had staked out my apartment in hopes of someone showing up there.

  His heels dug into the ground, which made me crash into his firm back. “I can’t do this.”

  “Yes, you can. Now move your ass.” I placed my palms on his shoulders and shoved him forward.

  He only moved an inch before looking at me over his shoulder. “Can I get a drink first? It might help calm my nerves down. Shayla’s used to smooth Jace, not one that can’t get his shit together.”

  “Fine. I’ll see if Freeman has something. I always see him carting that damn booze bag over his shoulder. Wait here.” I trotted off, darting from hall to hall until I found Freeman and wrestled a bottle of Jäger from his grasp. Before returning to the guys, I stopped off in the kitchen and snatched two small glasses from a cabinet and then popped in to tell Fuzz they were back.

  I half expected them to be gone. Like it was Jace’s grand plan to send me off on a booze run while he dipped out. But to my surprise, they were where I had left them. The corners of my mouth turned up at the sight. I still couldn’t believe they were back. “Come on. We can go in the laboratory for you take a few swigs.” They followed me down a few doors and scrambled into the room behind me. Both plopped down on the bar stools. On the opposite side, I poured a generous amount into each glass and slid it across the surface like I had seen bartenders do in movies.

  Jace tossed it back, downing at least half of it. His jaw flexed as his fingers gently caressed the glass. The longer he stared at it, the more pallid he became.

  I neared him. Not wanting to bring up the topic that had him so on edge, I opted for something else. “So aside from the training facility getting roasted while we were all gone, Abby also went missing. A Banshee took her. We’ve tried to find anything that might us locate her, but I’m not so sure anymore.”

  With that heavy report, I myself needed a drink. Since I didn’t get an extra glass, I turned the bottle up. I swiped my damp lips with the back of my hand and looked up to find Jace staring at me with wide eyes.

  “I know where she is.” His eyes returned to the glass in front of him without going on. I couldn’t believe what I had heard. He knew where she was! I darted around the counter and was at his side within seconds.

  “How do you know where she’s at?”

  He jumped clearly not aware that I had moved. Without turning in my direction, he nodded. “Because of what I did in Africa.” His expression twisted. “It was a stupid attempt at something that I should’ve known wouldn’t amount to anything.”

  “Tell me. What you know could help us find her.”

  His eyes widened as he turned to me. “How long has she been gone?”

  “A few days.” In any normal situation that wouldn’t seem that long, but now when someone was missing, days were detrimental. Hours, even. The longer she wasn’t with us, the more the chances increased that we wouldn’t ever see her again.

  Jace’s mouth dropped and then slowly closed. His lips pursed together. “The odds of you finding her aren’t good.” I opened my mouth to protest even though I knew he was speaking the truth, but he held up a hand. “But if anyone can find her, it’ll be you.” He swallowed. “Banshees are an omen of death, meaning they tend to surround themselves with the causers of death.”

  I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. “Causers of death? Like reapers?” I asked a little above a whisper. Something inside me stirred at the sheer concept of saying that place out loud.

  The seconds crawled by. He shifted from side to side, looking emotionally battered. His eyes lowered. “I met a Death Dealer over there. He had the power to put you under to the point of near death so you could find your loved ones and try to bring them back. He told me of a place where reapers are. Nekroun Earth. Said that maybe if he put me under I could met with a reaper and convince him to send Ollie back. So I did it. But I had it wrong. When a human dies, their soul doesn’t go there. The reapers are only transporters.”

  “So Steele’s soul went to either Heaven or Hell?”

  Jace shook his
head. “I have no idea. The reaper wouldn’t talk with me. Only sent me back without answers.”

  I blinked erratically trying to decipher the information. Nothing he was saying made any sense.

  “Why wouldn’t he tell you?” I finally asked.

  “No idea. I’ve asked myself that same question over and over again.”

  The door burst open, hit the wall, and bounced back. Shayla appeared in its frame with Savannah behind her. Her eyes were wild, skin void of its normal pink hue. In its wake, she appeared drained and clammy. No one moved. I don’t think anyone even breathed. We watched. We waited. I was afraid she had gone crazy. Literally, clinically insane. Within seconds we would know if this was going to be a happy reunion (the one I voted for, yay!), or one that had everyone ducking for cover when she tried to kill someone. And by someone, I meant Jace. But I was sure if one of us got hit in the crossfire it was a chance she was willing to take to make her shot.

  “Shayla,” Jace finally said.

  That seemed to snap her out of the weird trance she was in. Her features twisted, contorting into a person with a million emotions raging on the inside. Tears welled up in her bright blue eyes and poured out, dampening her cheeks. A ragged screamed ripped through her throat. Uh oh. This wasn’t good.

  She lunged forward in the direction of Jace with her hands stretched out. “You! You stupid son of a bitch! How dare you even show your face here again!”

  He stumbled back as her fingers reached around his throat and squeezed. Shockingly, he didn’t try to fight back. In fact, he did the opposite. His posture went limp, as if he deserved whatever she wanted to do to him.

  “Don’t just sit there and watch your damn friend die. Get her off him!” Fuzz shrieked at Payne.